Shero Cafe Podcast

018 - #Debbie - Interviewed by Entrepreneur Masterclass' Lea Woodford

• Deborah Edwards and Debbie Pearson

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Are societal expectations holding you back from taking care of yourself? In this powerful episode of Entrepreneur Masterclass, we bring you an eye-opening conversation with Debbie Pearson, an inspiring mindset and self-discovery coach. Debbie delves into the subconscious patterns and past experiences that often cause women to prioritize others over their own needs. She introduces the concept of an emotional GPS, offering practical steps to achieve self-awareness and reflection for personal growth.

Debbie's unique approach to personal growth and healing has resonated with many, proving to be more effective than traditional therapy for some. She walks us through her step-by-step process for uncovering and addressing subconscious behaviors, fostering genuine healing and continuous learning. If you're eager to explore more, Debbie invites you to her website, selfdiscoverycircle.com, and her private Facebook group, the Self-Discovery Lab. This episode is packed with actionable insights and heartfelt advice for women striving for self-discovery and empowerment.

---CONNECT with Shero Cafe---
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shero.cafe.podcast/
Email: thesherocafe@gmail.com

---CONNECT with Deborah Edwards---
Let's Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.edwards.372
Self Care Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/624202641785785
Website: https://gratefulom.life/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahedwards-selfcarecoach/


---CONNECT with Debbie Pearson---
Facebook (personal): https://www.facebook.com/debbie.pearson.921
Facebook Group (Self-Discovery Lab): https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfdiscoverylab
Website: https://www.debbiepearson.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbiepearsoncoach/

Speaker 1:

Hi and welcome to Entrepreneur Masterclass. I'm your host, leah Woodford, and with me today is somebody really amazing. This is Debbie Pearson, but she is a mindset and self-discovery coach. Welcome to the show, debbie. Thanks, leah, good to be here. So I got to ask you what is a self-discovery, I think and mindset let's just talk about, let's unpack this. What is this? I?

Speaker 2:

think and mindset. Let's just talk about, let's unpack this. What is this? Well, a self-discovery and mindset coach helps women to really discover what's going on inside of us. We spend so much time looking at what's going on out there. Who needs this? Who needs that? You know, women are designed and trained and we're taught and expected to take care of everything and everyone else, and we do grow up a lot of us doing that, and so the challenge for us is how do we take care of ourselves? Many of us don't know how, because we weren't taught. Some of us were, but many of us weren't taught in our homes, our schools, our businesses, and so it's like how do I take care of me? And it's funny, we know how to take care of others, but it is challenging to take care of ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Why do you think that is?

Speaker 2:

I think it's because of the way the brain is designed. Our brain has two main purposes One is to stay alive, survive, and the other one is to conserve calories, and so we have these parts of our brains that are the memory centers. So when things happen in our lives, they get stored, and so that's where our habits and behaviors and patterns come from. They're kind of stored, but then it becomes subconscious. These are the automatic behaviors we think of all the time Brushing our teeth, getting dressed, driving our car. We don't think about that, we just do them. We can alter it if we want, but we don't always know when the emotional parts show up.

Speaker 2:

Why do we do the things we do? Why do we react in such a strong emotional way when somebody says something or doesn't say something and we have these crazy upsets? So the self-discovery is about discovering what is it about us that has us doing that, and it always goes back to things that happened in our past, not always in our childhood, although a lot of it, but also as we're growing up, going through school, for whatever reason. Somebody may have been bullied or they may have had a really traumatic thing happen to them, and it stays with us, and so that pattern will repeat because the brain says aha, I recognize this from a previous time, or probably several, where I acted in a particular way and I stayed safe. I'm going to do that again, and what we need to do is discover whether we want that pattern or whether we don't want that pattern. Is it taking us in the direction where we want to go?

Speaker 1:

Now, how does that affect most women? Do you feel that so many women stay there or do you feel that they're able to get out?

Speaker 2:

of it, it's a kind of a double-edged sword there. If a person is around supportive people that are also have gone through things and are sharing that information, then they're likely to start following those patterns and begin to see. My friend Susie did that, my cousin Jane did that. I think I can do that too and maybe even have that conversation. But if we aren't in that sort of supportive environment, we have a tendency to stay there. I was like 58 years old before I had some major changes in my life because I didn't even know that I was doing these automatic behaviors.

Speaker 1:

And now I have a really quick question for you, debbie how do our women in the audience maybe they want to make these changes, but they're in an environment, maybe it's a spouse, maybe it's parents, you know where it's they just don't. They just don't have that kind of support, and maybe there's some sabotage going on.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. It is unfortunate how much we do self-sabotage and there's a tendency for people that did have this, maybe a challenging childhood. They may have had parents that were emotionally immature, they may have had trauma, and they form these beliefs about themselves. We'll call them limiting or disempowering beliefs. But we grow up with those, but they're so automatic we don't realize it. And what happens is we often will perform in ways thinking, if I can dress like them or speak like them or act like them, I'll fit in, and so it's almost being fake, but not even realizing it. But when we do that, that not being true to ourselves shows up, even if it isn't like obvious and verbal. The other person can tell, and then they're like I don't want to be around that person. They're being fake, even though they may not consciously be thinking that they can sense it. So now there's separation, the absolute opposite of what it is that we want. So I know. So how can we maybe move toward becoming more about what's true for us?

Speaker 2:

I like to look at a GPS right, and I think of it as an emotional GPS If I want to get out to here, where the end result is self-worth, self-compassion, self-love, whatever your end result is when something does happen because it doesn't happen overnight and it's not always in the moment but when something does happen to come back later and think about it Was it bringing me closer or was it not? And if not, why not? And we may not be able to answer that immediately because, again, it's all in the subconscious. But if we actually take it and write it on a piece of paper and we can see it out here, our conscious mind will begin to see what's in the subconscious or the unconscious mind and be able to say, oh my gosh, look at that. I'm seeing the same thing happen over and over again. And maybe how can I do things differently? Now? Some people do that through reflective journaling or meditation. I'm a process girl. I need a process. I need you to give me the steps to get me where I need to go.

Speaker 1:

So, debbie, I have to ask you how did you begin this journey? I mean, I love what you're doing, but how there's got to be a back story. How did that happen? There's a back story.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I was one of those people I just talked about people-pleasing, trying to do the right thing, overachieving because I'm thinking, oh, I just achieved something wonderful, but I still don't feel like I'm good enough, so I must need to do more in order to feel good. So I kept overachieving and I ended up being a civilian but working for a four-star general at the Air Force. But I was still unfulfilled. I ended up deciding to take a vacation, but a very long vacation. I walked El Camino de Santiago, which is a 500-mile path. It's a backpacking path. Wow, 500 miles. I can't imagine Backpacking. Yeah, oh, my goodness, it was life-changing. I mean, I will just say that I could go on and on and on about it, but it was absolutely life-changing to the point that I got back to work six weeks later and went. I can't stay here.

Speaker 2:

I didn't feel the meaning. I realized that I was not being true to myself. I was pretending to be something I wasn't and I believe that that not truthfulness of myself, that fakeness, that inauthenticity was obvious. But I also found great joy when I was on the Camino, in this six-week journey. So I ended up quitting my job, I sold everything I owned and I drove away and it was phenomenal how good I felt. Now it's scary, as you know what? Because I'm leaving something very secure and going to something unknown. But in time, I began to put these processes together, to understand what I learned on the Camino, which was about being true to myself, finding my own self-worth, fitting in when I'm most authentic and not trying to fit in by being someone else, and with that I started forming my business.

Speaker 1:

So tell us about your business. I'm intrigued, I bet you guys are too. Tell us about your business.

Speaker 2:

Well, I own the Self-Discovery Circle and it is a sacred place. It is a very safe haven for women. It's women only. It's private, and it's to really discover who you are on the inside. Because many of us think we know, because we know what colors we like and what people we want to hang out and what makes us feel good, but we don't necessarily really know genuinely who we are. Now there are people that do right, so it wouldn't be for them, but for people that are struggling with I don't know. It just feels like there's something missing in my life. I never quite feel like I belong. Oh yeah, I'm a people pleaser, for sure, that's me right. Or you achieve and achieve and acquire, and it just never feels quite good enough. It is that kind of there's something's missing. So what is that? And it could be different for different people.

Speaker 2:

So the self-discovery circle is about learning core and foundational skills that help you learn the process to go through. So when things happen, you can watch this, you move through the limiting beliefs, you can decide if those habits, behaviors, patterns are those benefiting me. Am I living my core values? Am I aligned in my life? And if I'm not, how would I like to change that, Because now it's becoming what's important for me, and not in a selfish way. I believe that everything is energy right. So we think of vibrations. If the vibration is raised for me, then everyone I interact with is going to interact with that higher vibration, and it's just better for all around. Some people might squawk at it a spouse, a family member? Oh, you're changing. That's when you really have to discover within yourself what is going to be most true to you. Am I going to continue living the way someone else wants me to live or am I really going to be true to myself? And that's what the self-discovery circle's about, and we all support each other. It's Fabulous.

Speaker 1:

So you work with women only. Why women only?

Speaker 2:

That's a good question. I'm going to say that I think that there's a softness. There's I teach, very left brain, left brain logical, but it comes from a right brain feminine softness. There's compassion. It's like women are more naturally attuned to compassion and patience. It's somebody one of my clients said that the best way she goes, I just want to give to myself all the compassion, kindness, patience and forgiveness I've been giving to everyone else for decades.

Speaker 1:

Oh, wouldn't that be nice if we all did that, right?

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's what it's about. It's like a passion and a mission.

Speaker 1:

So what's a day in the life? Maybe a typical month in your business, A typical month in my business we have.

Speaker 2:

Well, of course, in the membership, we study a new subject every month, a new topic. There's lives, facebook lives, or I may pre-record something. So there's this basic information. We have an activity for people to be working on because they're going to be like. We're going to refer to it for the rest of the month. So, you have a curriculum. Yes, we have a curriculum and I do coaching, private coaching, for people that are interested. I have levels and tiers for the membership and there's just a lot of people wondering why am I doing this?

Speaker 1:

Why am I here?

Speaker 2:

What am I doing this for? Why do I keep doing this thing? And so, yeah, there's a lot of conversation around it.

Speaker 1:

Now, why do you think that is there a certain age group? That I mean myself included? I mean that you kind of wonder why am I here? What am I doing? Is there a certain age group, or is it women of all ages?

Speaker 2:

Probably women of all ages, but I do find that once a woman and I don't know that I want to put a specific number, but I'm going to say over 40. Because we're either pretty settled in a career that we have, the children are at least old enough that they can take care of themselves. And obviously not everybody falls in these categories. But the 50s and 60s are really the age group. But I do have people I've had people as young as 23 and 24 years old coming in saying I just want to work on myself. I'm like great, come on in, because it doesn't matter the age. There just seems to come a time when you know we have purpose in our life, we're raising our kids, you know we've got the house, the home, the kids are going in different directions and we're just so focused on everybody else and everything else. And then when that begins to settle down, some it's like hold on a second. There's another entity here and this entity says maybe now, now's my time.

Speaker 1:

I have a question for you. So many women myself I'm a mom we do put everything into the kids and we, you know, and after they leave, you know so many of us fill empty nesters and you know, what do I do now? Even if if you have a career, that sense of purpose has gone or changed, or and we are we are left with this.

Speaker 2:

Oh, now, what Right? We think we have a purpose, but the truth is we have many purposes, but our biggest purpose is to really be true to ourselves. Because think about, if you have the wisdom of, of knowing what it is that you want, what you value, that wisdom can be passed on to your kids. If you don't have that, you can't pass that on Now. Does it mean that once you acquire it, you can't give them and say, hey look, let's upgrade again. Right, let's up level, let's do that thing? But this is more of an emotional upgrade. But we do have more than one purpose in our lives.

Speaker 1:

Yes, well, that makes perfect sense. Now, what would you say the biggest benefit is and the biggest transformation for your women? What do they experience after they work with you?

Speaker 2:

Oh, freedom, emotional freedom it's almost like I like to describe it as they have taken gaping wounds and begun to turn them into scars. It's not that the experience didn't happen, it's not that it doesn't hurt, but the level of pain is so much reduced. The aha moments are just tremendous. One lady told me a client. She said Debbie, I learned more from you in six months than I learned in 20 years of therapy. And she's not the only person that says that Now, therapy is great. I have nothing against it. But if that person's like me, I could only get so much out of therapy.

Speaker 2:

And then with my process, because we go step by step with the process. Once you learn the process, you can shift it to fit you better. But we learn this process and it's just a way that it opens you up so that the parts of your brain that have remembered them and remembered the information put it in the subconscious and that automatic behavior has been revealed. And it isn't until we reveal it to ourselves in some way. Then, and only then, can we begin healing.

Speaker 1:

Oh, so amazing. How can people find out more?

Speaker 2:

about you. Well, they can go to the selfdiscoverycirclecom. I can also be found on Facebook. I have a free Facebook group that women can come to get a taste to see what it's like, and that is the Self-Discovery Lab, and we do similar stuff there and it's just core stuff. On the Self-Discovery Lab we also are looking at new topics every month and similar stuff. There's a recording and some activities more on your own, but we're supported in that group and it is also women-only and private.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that is so wonderful, Debbie. I had such a great time. I learned so much. Will you come back? Oh, I would love to Thank you. Yes, Thank you so much. This has been Leah Woodford with Entrepreneur Masterclass. Thanks for watching.

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Debbie Pearson

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