Shero Cafe Podcast

035 The Blossoming Self: Navigating Personal Transformation in Changing Times

• Deborah Edwards and Debbie Pearson

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Talk to us, Shero! Talk to us!

Spring isn’t just a season—it’s a symbol of transformation. As nature reawakens, it reminds us that growth follows darkness. This conversation invites us to explore how our own emergence mirrors these cycles—how dormancy prepares the ground for something new to take root.

Instead of forcing change, spring invites us to ask: what blossoms naturally when we’ve tended the soil of our lives?

We also explore the difference between intention and excuse—how some withdraw to heal, while others disengage in ways that stall both personal and collective growth. The line is thin, but it matters.

Amid personal and global awakenings, one truth rises: we’re shifting from separation and scarcity to interconnection and abundance. Self-care and social responsibility aren’t in conflict—they’re two expressions of the same truth: we rise together.

So…
 What energy is rising in you this spring?
 Drop a comment and share your moment of becoming - we'd love to hear from you!

Let’s keep growing—together.

Thank you so much for the likes, love, and comments you leave. Not only does it mean the world to us, it helps other women who need to hear it be able to find it.

#womenempoweringwomen
#youmatter
#makeadifference


---CONNECT with Shero Cafe---
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---CONNECT with Deborah Edwards---
Let's Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.edwards.372
Self Care Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/624202641785785
Website: https://gratefulom.life/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahedwards-selfcarecoach/

---CONNECT with Debbie Pearson---
Facebook (personal): https://www.facebook.com/debbie.pearson.921
Facebook Group (Creative Self-Discovery Lab): https://www.facebook.com/groups/creativeselfdiscoverylab
Website: https://www.debbiepearson.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbiepearsoncoach/

Debbie:

Well, hello listeners and welcome to the Shiro Cafe. We are going to have a lively conversation today about becoming and blossoming and what may be going on right now for you in your life, because we find that it's going on for us in our life. So, deborah, would you like to kind of share what you were telling me about? You know how you're feeling about this. It's like it's the spring, it's this new, energetic, like I said, blossoms and stuff.

Debbie:

I remember doing a little talk on my Facebook page and talking about how I don't make new year's reservations. I don't make new year's resolutions in January because it's the dead of winter and I don't feel like I don't know energy or whatever. I wait till springtime because that's when I feel like I can get moving and my creative juices are really flowing and I'm watching the yellow green come out of the trees and and and. After it rains and, yes, the pollen too. I will, I will admit there as well, right, but I love when I've planted something like a bulb and I see that little tiny bit of green popping out of the ground. For some reason it just excites me. So I want to make more resolutions, like at that time and you're talking about the springtime and how it's um a time for what Blossoming, I think it's, yeah, it's a time for the emergence of whatever.

Deborah:

You know, one of the things that I say a lot for my readers, for my newsletter, for even clients one thing that I say a lot is what we're doing is we're creating the soil for something to emerge.

Deborah:

So, even in the winter, we're doing things that the seed is beneath the soil Resting, yeah, resting, resting and getting strength and, you know, drawing in nutrients from the soil that we've we've created and that we have put together a nourishing soil to feed that.

Deborah:

And then when, when the um, when, when spring comes, and all of that stuff is just emerging and there's hope and it's flowing. And it's so funny one of the things that I this is the first time in I don don't know how long where everything was like dark and dreary and you know, all of the trees are blaring and then next thing I turn around, there's all this green, the birds are around, and so that gives me hope about the natural flow of things. You know, about how this is a good time for us to to nourish ourselves so that what is meant to be can emerge and emerge no matter what. Who, how, what government, what work thing, whatever, what, what politician is going on and what they're doing. There is still that hope that the that uh that emerges in the spring. Right now, and I feel like that's just one of the things that's going on in my life right now.

Debbie:

I'm feeling that hope with things that are going on in the world yeah, I, you know, with you know not to get political, but to get political. It's like whatever's been happening in the United States is just to me, it's just been like an eyebrow raise, like what the hell? And there's a shift. There's just there's an ad doesn't mean anybody won yet. It just means that, maybe because it is the spring, maybe because people are waking up, maybe because it has gone far enough, maybe because everybody was so freaking stunned. What do you do? Right, it's like there was there's only so much the one individual can do if you're not already belong to some kind of a group or community or whatever. So it's like now my energy is at a point where it's like I want to be involved in some way. Right, it may not be what I would have done in the past, but I will do. What is that I'm going to do now? For I guess, how do I say? Where I've evolved to, I'll just leave it at that, like wherever where I've evolved to, I'm going to be doing different things than I did in the past, but I feel good about that. I feel that that's right for me. So, um, yeah, whatever it is that that you want to do. A person wants to do if they feel that that's truly right for them. If they feel that that's truly right for them, that's fine.

Debbie:

I do wonder, maybe, about some people that shut down. And just what is the? I'm trying to think of the right phrase. It's like I remember a long time ago I was married to a man who had a sister-in-law who was very, very religious and to her, if she prayed hard enough, god would take care of her, jesus would take care of her. But he got so mad at her one time and I didn't hear the prior, previous part of the conversation, but I heard him yell at her from another room you can't sit down at a piano and pray that God will teach you, but not put your hands on the keys. Right, he was trying to to be more earthly in his example, and I was like I don't know what they're talking about, but that makes sense to me, right? And you know, we talked later about what it was.

Debbie:

But you know, I, I have to honor if somebody is in a place where it's like, well, I'm just gonna, you know, remove myself from everything and maybe just pray or be in meditation. You know, maybe that does help and I don't know right, maybe that's adding to the vibration being raised, and I just don't know that. I mean this is what I, at least I'm hoping. I just don't know that I mean this is what I, at least I'm hoping, is that, you know, not everybody saves the whales, not everybody works in domestic violence. People are drawn to certain things right.

Debbie:

So this is just a thought that went through my head about it. What if a person that doesn't get involved but does raise their vibration because they know that to get involved means they're going to go into a lower energy vibration for them right right now? I know that when people activate there's a lot of energy there, but I think it's needed, necessary. How do you say healthy anger? Because enough is enough.

Deborah:

Right, and one of the things that I, one of the things that well, there's a couple of things that you said. One of the things is that people are waking up, right, and one of the things that I one of one of my groups, my weekly meditation group it's a private group that I have she is wanting to sit over in her house alone being love and light. If it doesn't happen in her backyard, it's not happening. Doesn't happen in her backyard, it's not happening. But the thing that I kept envisioning myself was you know, if you're being love and light and you're not touching anything, your light is not, uh, contributing to anything in the world. Okay so, and I know you think, well, maybe you're raising the, the vibration level, but our vibration level is increased by joining together with other people, right?

Debbie:

So I'm not going to say no, but maybe she's. I'm not taking up for her. I don't know her. I don't know anything about her. All I know is that you know we had a conversation about whether or not it was I don't know the right word, the right thing to do, whatever I can't judge. Right, that's what. I'm saying I cannot judge, I mean it feels like we're saying if she's not doing it the way we think she should do it, then she's not right?

Deborah:

No, I'm not saying that I mean it feels like that to me. I mean it does. I'll be honest and say have to be very intentional about what is ours to do. So I may not be the one out in the street, that I will not be the one out in the street holding the protest sign, feel like is mine to do is to provide the tools to people so that they can still thrive, no matter what's going on around them. So there is something for me to do.

Deborah:

It's just not necessarily militant or protesting or anything like that. I have to choose what is for mine to do that aligns with my values and we were talking about values, right? So my values say that I don't just take care of myself. My values are I take care of myself, the animals, the planet, the universe, my neighborhood, all of that. That's just one of my core values, and so I have to figure out, no matter where I am, no matter where the world is, no matter who's in office, I have to figure out how I can do that, and my way of doing that is by coaching people on self-care.

Debbie:

Yeah, I mean as one person, coaching many. You've really contributed a lot Versus, that's it. I'm taking myself out of that and going to do something else, and as one person. It's like you used the word earlier. You said intention and I was. I wanted to jump in, but you know I didn't want to be rude.

Deborah:

You were being polite, I was. I wanted to jump in, but you know, I didn't want to be rude.

Debbie:

You were being polite, I was being polite, but I did not want to be polite. I wanted to go. Wait, stop. It's such an important word. So you know, if somebody is sitting at home and they're, I'll use the word excuse for this particular statement, their excuse is oh, I'm just going to be love and light and I'm just going to pray or meditate or whatever. If that is what's happening, they're using that as an excuse not to get involved in any kind of way.

Debbie:

You know, my little bit of judgment is that's that's not a very good intention to have. It seems like that's an excuse to have to withhold what I could be doing, um, versus like I'm like you. Uh, unfortunately, here it was torrential rains, we had a horrible storm and I don't I didn't go out in it, um, but there's a lot of times where I want to go do it and I feel pulled back. I feel pulled back, like, like I start shutting down and I don't want to use that as an excuse, but I have to look at that and go. What is that? What's going on with me?

Deborah:

that I shut down.

Debbie:

But I want to do something. What can I do? So I have to look at what is my situation and what can I do, and everybody's going to have a different situation. Everybody may have a different thing that they could do behind um like. Uh, some of the groups that I'm, you know, watching really grow and the movement and energy behind them is just fabulous. I'm so proud of some of these young women.

Debbie:

They're like in their 30s and they are kicking butt right I love that there's a new we're talking about spring, but I think it's even bigger than that that there's this new awakening that's happening, where so many people are saying I've had enough, I've had enough, and I keep going. How do I get? How do I say it in a way where it's like more specific? And I asked somebody I'm like, um, are you wanting to be power over it's? The answer was no and I said so.

Debbie:

Is it that you don't really want something from this other person? You just want them to stop wanting from to take your stuff, basically, and it was like, yes, and it's like I get that I. I get that like wholeheartedly, I don't want anybody taking my stuff. I don't want other people's stuff, but I don't want anybody taking mine, right? You know like for me, fairness is a huge value and you know, when people aren't fair think of I don't know, like the bully on the playground or whatever, and they're just trying to take it doesn't belong to you. Or like somebody robs your house it's like who do you think you are? You don't get to do that, right.

Debbie:

So, but in their mind, for whatever reason, yes, they do, they do right. So, but this awakening that's happening, I just, I'm so excited to finally see it six and a half decades in cha-ching like, let's go right.

Debbie:

I'm, I'm pleased because I I lived enough in my life where I felt there was a lot taken away from me. Maybe that's an inaccurate way to describe it, maybe I allowed it and didn't realize it, but I know that, seeing now the energy that's out there, I have a lot of respect for it and I'm like good, it's about time.

Deborah:

It's about time there needs to be a huge shift in old paradigm thinking and moving to new paradigm thinking, and I think that a lot of this pain, this chaos, this, you know, whatever you want to call it is is like growing pains we have to go through the process. The seed has to push through the soil before it can emerge and bloom. So one of the things I'm hearing from what you say is like okay, I don't want anybody to take my stuff, I don't want anybody to be unfair to me, but what I see emerging more and more is people having an awareness that if you're unfair to that sunflower over there, you're being unfair to this rose that I am. So if you're unfair over there, then that is on that. I see that as unfair to me as well. So we are not separate anymore. We are all one humanity, and you know. And so what you do to the least of this I think that's a Bible for it what you do to the least of us, you do to me, and I see that more and more.

Debbie:

I have a visual. A visual I was like how, how can, how can we look at something and and something on the earth that makes sense, right, and I don't know what these little things are called, but they fall off of a tree and they're round, but they've got all these spikes coming out of them.

Deborah:

It's like that tree's seed and again, I don't know what this thing is I have a ton of them in my backyard and the name of it isn't coming up.

Debbie:

Okay, so you know what I'm talking about.

Deborah:

Yeah.

Debbie:

And it's like sweet gum, sweet gum. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna trust you because I uh, you know, I'm sure you're right, but if you look at these sweet gum, what are those? Are they nuts? Are they the the like an acorn? Is the the seed that falls from the oak tree?

Deborah:

I think so or something like that. They're sweet gum balls and they're horrible to get rid of.

Debbie:

But anyway, I don't know but they're like there's just chock full of spikes, right if a spike is an individual, but they're still connected to the hole which is the, the ball in the middle, and then there's another spike that comes out. They're not recognizing that at the base they're both connected to the same thing.

Debbie:

So, we do see ourselves as separate because we were raised in an atmosphere I'm going to call it the old paradigm which enforced you can't figure things out on your own, you need help from these other people or this other person, and you just can't do it on your own. I couldn't do it on my own, you're not going to be able to do it on your own. But now there's this new paradigm that it's like it's not me, it's we right and it just it feels it's see to me. That naturally feels better than whatever it was. I was taught Like what? The things that I was taught always caused me to cock my head Like what? Like? It never sat well, but I was challenged with something's wrong with you, deb. You need to think this other way, and for 50, you know, five decades plus, I tried to force myself to think that way because I wanted to belong.

Debbie:

Right, I wanted to belong. But life things happen, you know, moving or whatever and I was in a situation where it occurred to me none of that is comfortable to me. I'm going to have to find what is comfortable to me and be true to myself. Using more self-love and self-care, I started meeting more people that did that and that that conversation I would have with that person would feel more clean and more natural than any conversation I'd had with in my life, with family members. I'm not saying I never met anyone like that, you know, in my past, but it was rare because I had surrounded myself with what my family was doing and wanting to be part of that. I mean, who doesn't want to be part of their?

Debbie:

family, we all do right, and so there was this very strong draw. I've also felt the challenge of what it's like to sort of estrange myself by choice and it seems like, whether I try to belong or I try to stay away, I'm just a good person to talk about. They're just like, if I try to belong, it's. It's like a little bit of a pushback, like we don't really like you very much. You know they push back, and then if I don't try to belong, then it's like, well, what is wrong with her? Like, doesn't she understand she should try? Like, and it's just so bizarre. But watching it has just created a allowing like. I don't need to justify it anymore. There's that allowing more we were talking early about like just being right, right am I really? And, um, just really being present with who I am and allowing them to talk about. You know that song. Let's give them something to talk about. Let's give them something to talk about.

Debbie:

Yeah, I love it. I can do or not do. It doesn't matter. I feel like they talk about me anyway, Right, and it's OK. It's like it's just okay now. I suppose it's like I have other family, family of my choice.

Deborah:

But here's what I'm thinking. When we're talking about that family of your choice, I think we've gotten away from a little bit about what we were originally talking about.

Deborah:

But when we're talking about the family of the choice, I would like for us to get to a place in the world where we don't have to make those choices where we can just be, where this person over here thinks I should blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and you can think what you want. You know, I, I, it's just not going to. And one of the things, one of the um, one of the um realms for the be present. I talked to you a lot about that.

Deborah:

For the model is to live your life outside the distress of oppression. So it oppresses me if I am worried about what this person is thinking or what this person thinks about me, or I'm not connecting with this person. And if I live outside the distress of oppression, then I'm just connecting with those people that allow me to be present and to be free in the moment, and so that creates a world. For I mean, and let's just move it out, move it out, move it out. And so that creates a world, for I mean, and let's just move it out, move it out, move it out, move it out, move it out, move it out. That creates a different world than someone who spends their time looking around and wanting to oppress everyone or wanting to struggle with everyone to bring them to their way of being, way of understanding, way of life. That just creates a totally different life than just being.

Debbie:

Yeah, and I didn't have that language that you just used and I was describing, I guess, this part of my life, but that really is exactly to me what I was saying.

Debbie:

Okay, it's living under their oppression, right, trying to get me to be a way they wanted, where the comfort for me was to be outside of that and exactly with people like you, like me, like probably all the audience that's listening, who is more comfortable being with I'm going to call it light seekers people who are looking for a higher level of vibration, having more love in their life, not just for themselves, but for others. And sometimes love shows up as anger, right Some things going on right now. It's like I love myself, my children, my fellow sisters and brothers enough to be angry. Stand up against this oppression.

Deborah:

Right, oh man, that is absolutely true, you know, because love can exist in a vacuum. What am I trying to say? I have it in my mind Love can exist in a vacuum, but love cannot be in action in a vacuum so okay, let's unpack that.

Debbie:

Let's unpack that.

Deborah:

Okay, can exist okay, so you can be sitting in your room. Ah, okay, being all love and light and I am love, I am the universe, I am love and you can be. But being love and light in your little room is no action. It doesn't, it is not love of loving right, it's not the act of loving, it is being love, and so it. It's two different things, and you choose.

Debbie:

Maybe that's self-love, it's like, I don't know, like in the, in the world I live in, the, the, the um tools, that I teach, the skills and everything it's. We use the words love in action, right, are you being love in action? Right, are you being love in action? And I'm going to I'm still going to go back to the individual. You called it in a vacuum.

Debbie:

I think I have been in a situation where I was just so unavailable that the only love I had at that time we're talking some years ago, but at the time the only love I had was essentially being loved to myself, and I'll just also call it licking my wounds, like I had to heal me. Right, I had to heal me. I, I, I, I remember I did not have a plant in my house none, zero plants, not out. There was stuff outside, but I didn't water it, I didn't take care of it, I didn't cut it, I didn't try nothing. I had nothing like nothing, no bandwidth for anything but healing myself. And I, I think I would have said those words like I'm just going to be here and be with myself, uh, isolating, right. I don't think that I would have been now.

Debbie:

I wasn't using it as an excuse, and I think that's the thing we went. We talked about intention. Is it like I just don't want to get involved, just don't want to get involved, I don't want to get involved in all this stuff? So we use it as an excuse and versus um, I don't know. I just for me personally. I know what I went through. So if there's another person going through what I went through, I want to understand and I want to allow and I'm hoping that that brings them to a place where heal yourself and then go out and make a difference.

Deborah:

Right, and that's that's really what you and I both do as coaches Right, and? And one of the reasons why we are called to do that is because we've been there yes, Right, and so one of the things that I do, or that we both do, is we find those people that are in that state and help them heal so that they can open up to their, to their wellness and to their you know, their radical self-care. I call it so that they can step outside of themselves to live the life that they want, and I know that sounds cliche, but that's what I found that I need where I need to take my love and my action not at the picket line, not at the rally, not at the march by taking those people that are hurting and helping them to heal.

Debbie:

That is a very, very important thing to do and great admiration to all of I'll say us, who I mean, of course, not disparaging anybody else, but right now, because of this old paradigm, which is bullshit, we we need whatever we call I mean the the self-love, self care, how to make a difference in your life type coaches that are going to help people move through the junk that was downloaded into us throughout our lives. Right, it is, it's time for the shift, it's time for the change. It's happening may continue to happen because it's not a done deal right and we, just we.

Debbie:

The world, the earth needs to heal, right earth needs to heal. And there is, I feel, something I don't. I don't know about anybody else, but I feel an energy that I don't think I've really felt before, that I'm like really consciously aware of it.

Deborah:

So spring is strong, so spring is strong, baby.

Debbie:

Spring is strong. I'm wondering about our audience. Are you guys feeling it Like? Do you genuinely feel something swirling around? Maybe you can't articulate it, Maybe you can. I'd love to hear about it. I would love to hear what is going on in your life, your world, that you can say yes, I'm experiencing that as well.

Deborah:

And we invite you to comment below, letting us know exactly what you feel and we'll respond. We may even have a whole new conversation about it, because we love to hear about what your thoughts are on some of these conversations that we're having.

Debbie:

Absolutely. We're more than willing to answer questions, so feel free to put those in there, all right, as we're wrapping up. We ready, yeah, all right. Well, I, you know. I just want to tell you guys, thank you so much for being here. We thank you for the loves, the likes, and we love your comments. We love when you ask questions, you're. Those are very special and precious to us and we really appreciate them. So please feel free to continue to do that.

Deborah:

And, as always, we invite you to love and care for the Shiro in you. I hate that I can't get with you.

Debbie:

I don't want to. Bye everybody. We'll see you next time. Bye.

People on this episode

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Debbie Pearson

Host
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Deborah Edwards

Host