Shero Cafe Podcast

037 - The Stories We Hold: The Sacred Power of Storytelling

• Deborah Edwards and Debbie Pearson

Share episode

Talk to us, Shero! Talk to us!

What happens when women tell the truth of their stories?
Something sacred happens. Storytelling isn’t just about sharing experiences—it’s how we heal, connect, and remember who we really are.

In this Shéro Café episode, we explore how telling your story isn’t just personal—it’s powerful. For generations, women have processed life through storytelling, long before there were therapists. And still today, sharing your truth creates space for healing—within you and for others.

We talk about what it means to walk away from the “family path” and choose your own. That moment when you say “no” for the first time—even when everyone expects a “yes.” It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also the beginning of freedom.

Like a soul-based GPS, your real story always points you back to self-love. Each choice is a turn—toward or away from who you really are. You don’t have to take a straight line to get there. You just have to know where you’re going.

You are the captain of your own ship.
Your story holds wisdom. We’d love to hear what’s shaped you.
Email us at thesherocafe@gmail.com or subscribe to join our community of truth-tellers, or subscribe here:
www.SheroCafe.com

Every time a woman shares from her heart—we all heal a little more.

Thank you so much for the likes, love, and comments you leave. Not only does it mean the world to us, it helps other women who need to hear it be able to find it.

#womenempoweringwomen
#youmatter
#makeadifference


---CONNECT with Shero Cafe---
Subscribe: www.SheroCafe.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shero.cafe.podcast/
Email: thesherocafe@gmail.com

---CONNECT with Deborah Edwards---
Let's Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.edwards.372
Self Care Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/624202641785785
Website: https://gratefulom.life/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahedwards-selfcarecoach/

---CONNECT with Debbie Pearson---
Website: https://www.debbiepearson.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbiepearsoncoach/
Email: deb@debbiepearson.com

Debbie:

Welcome back to the Shiro Cafe, where we slip, sip slow, speak truth. Maybe we slip slow too, I don't know.

Debbie:

But we definitely sip it slow, speak our truth and we nourish what's real. Today we're going to talk about stories, right, and not just personal ones. We're going to explore what it's like to go through that healing power of storytelling itself. You know why does storytelling matter? What is it that it preserves? How does it lead others heal as well? Something sacred happens when women tell the truth, and not just your own truth, but something that goes deeper, something that goes to the soul level. So, Deborah, do you want to talk about? You know stories and like what they are and why they're sacred?

Deborah:

You know, one of the things that I, when I look, when I think about stories, I think about what they mean to us in our society and in our culture, and you know, and our internal life and our external life. But you know, stories are a way that we can remember who we are. I can tell you stories of my mom and dad and I and how we used to do picnics or go fishing and that, just that just is a part of me, it's a part of who I am, and it carries more than a memory. It carries meaning about my values. You know my resilience of things that I've been through, that I survived, even survived some of the stories of my survival or some of the things that I didn't think I could survive and then ended up being able to use my skills or my talents or my resilience or just whatever it is that I carried with me to get through that. And you know, before there was even therapy.

Deborah:

You know, in community, you know you've heard of the quilting circles and the sewing circles and all of that. You know a lot of times that community was more than just making a quilt. It was about telling our stories. And you know connection, connecting, connecting through our stories and sharing, you know, becomes an act of self-recognition. You know, I am here in spite of all of that stuff, or because of all of that stuff, or because of the community that I held or that I'm in. I am here and my story allows me to have that understanding of my presence.

Debbie:

Absolutely, and I think a lot of times we think of stories in almost a negative way, like we had to get through something, and a lot of times that is what happens. But I love that you brought up it's also the good stories, the good things that happened, like with your family and fishing and picnics and things like that. Um, for whatever reason, it seems well. I mean, let me just finish with that, having that in your life and I I'm so happy that you had that in your life and I hope a lot of people did I don't remember pleasant times in my childhood Like our, our, our, you and I our lives were really very different. My dad always seemed to be very frustrated. So was it ever fun? It was never fun, and but I think that, in addition to stories like what you're talking about, they shape our values. But the negative, if you will stories, the ones that weren't as pleasant, they also shape your values. You know what you don't want. You kind of have a good idea what you do want, right, right.

Debbie:

I know a lot of women, a lot of women, especially women that that I coach grew up believing that we had to disappear. You know to be loved, the, the you're to be seen and not heard. You know all that kind of stuff and storytelling. Being able to recall those stories and some of the situations that occurred, it's like I think you said it, it's like I existed, I survived. There's resilience because I can look at it, it and how. I wasn't really that powerful then. I was, you know, a little kid, but because of that, what a much stronger person I feel that I've become, just due to my life circumstances and how. When I'm able to witness myself, even if there's no one else for me to share the story with, that it's really very powerful because I can decide how am I learning from this right?

Debbie:

Another thing is when I share it with other people. I've heard a number of times people say wow, I'm so glad that you shared that because you know, I was feeling something inside. I just didn't know I could say it. I didn't think it was like either safe or okay, because how often I don't know about your life in this part but I don't know.

Debbie:

But I was always told that as a female, you know, basically I had a. My dad did very, very traditional female, male, female roles and there wasn't. It seemed like I was always having to ask for permission to do things and I wasn't getting it. So now I'm able to. I'm able to share a story and that gives other women permission, sometimes and I don't even realize it's happening. That's how powerful our stories are, that that, as we share them, they do impact other people and that allows that other person to maybe do something, think something, feel something, act, behave whatever, in a way they never had permission before, may not have even realized it. So it's speaking, our stories, yeah, it like helps us heal, but it helps other people heal as well.

Deborah:

Right, and listening to other people's stories right. So one of the things that you know. I was listening, you know to where was I at Oprah's Live your Best Life tour Right, and I was hearing a lot of other stories from women and from women who have been through some very hard things.

Debbie:

Yeah.

Deborah:

And some women have been through some really nice and easy and smooth things, some really nice and easy and smooth things, and one of the things that I got from those stories I mean the reason why I mentioned that one is because it was a lot of storytelling in a very short period of time, right, but then I started thinking about what's possible. But what a fabulous experience.

Debbie:

I just want to throw that in. What a fabulous experience to be in that energy.

Deborah:

Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah. But you know, if we are saying in our own story, you know we forget about the possibilities outside of that story. So, even hearing somebody that maybe was in a place that we were in and they were able to persevere, they were able to find their resilience, they were able to rise up, you know, like Maya Angelou, you know, and still I rise If you can hear those stories, then that is inspiring and it allows you to find that place deep inside of you that will help you to rise in those difficult and those challenges Right. So I love listening to other people's stories because it just gives me another, a little more information on how I can rise.

Debbie:

Yeah, it is astonishing sometimes how excited I can feel that, if they were able to do it, that I can do it too, and and it just I don't know brings new fresh hope and encouragement into my life. It's so. Yeah, I know I feel exactly what you're saying. I think sometimes sharing our stories also help us to see a path we want to more, find the way to move in the direction that we want to go in.

Debbie:

Many people that might be listening to this have lived a life where we've heard other people tell us how we should act. If you will, you know, we grow up in a household where we learn that these behaviors are like get good reaction from our parents. These other behaviors, they don't get good reactions. And so we begin to I'm going to call it agree to ourselves I better do these things and not these things. And then, as we keep growing and you know, we go into an adulthood we still practice. Oh, those things, these things over here, are beneficial and these things are not.

Debbie:

But there comes a point that going down a path, going down a path, hearing someone else's story, helps us realize that, wow, I don't have to do those things anymore. I mean, I can do them if that's right, but I don't have to. And that is where we are going through, like you know the self-love part. You know the self-love part. This is like being rooted in what's real enough for me, what's real enough for my highest good. I like to say the word authentic. It feels authentic to me and what's my life genuine. And from that and from the stories and from, like, all this encompassing in my life, that I feel like I can do a different thing.

Debbie:

And I will share this really quick. I've always tried to follow the family path, and the family path is you don't say no to certain people. If they suggest something or tell you something, you're almost required to say yes to them, or you're bad and wrong and all that stuff. But it wasn't too long ago where it was requested, I do something and I know that that was not my highest good and I said no and a couple of things happened. So I am telling you one of my stories. A couple of things happened. One was this unbelievable feeling inside of myself how proud I was of myself for standing up for myself.

Deborah:

Like it was a big big deal.

Debbie:

Something not so good that happened was certain people took a step back from me and it was like I wasn't doing it their way and they didn't like that. And I knew that was probably going to happen and I felt like I was had prepared myself for that and, in a way, I did I prepared myself for that. Did it hurt? Yeah, sure, it always hurts when you're not, when you don't belong as well as you thought you did or whatever. It's always hurts to feel rejected in some way. But it was more important for me to stand alone. Stand alone and do what I knew, what was right for me. Uh, rather than succumb to a repeated pattern of what that story was and that story is or was for me. You need to do what those people say. So it was just a huge shift for me and I can't tell you how much inner freedom that I have because I was able to step away from that repeated pattern.

Deborah:

You know, and then that becomes a you know. Another point you know, when you look at your stories, your life story, you look at it with compassion and with you know a different lens than what you looked at it for, what it was. And when you decide that you're going to move forward, you can move forward with the reality of what those stories were. Because when you're hearing those stories and you're how do I say this? You're actually making those stories inform you of your presence and the story that you're looking at you're not looking at it as a reality or with clarity or with the realness. Then you're letting that inform your decisions and the moves that you're making right now. But if you take the time to look at those stories, to find the truth in those stories, to find the love and the compassion in those stories, then it allows you to see it with a clearer lens and so then you can move forward with the truth and not with the lie.

Debbie:

Well, I think you just hit it on the head.

Debbie:

I wasn't thinking of it as a lie, but I I'm seeing it now that it is. It's like I wasn't living my story, I was living someone else's story and and that's a lie for me, it's like that. You know me, quote unquote living their story. Doing what they wanted me to do helped them feel better about themselves, but it was also about their control and I was allowing that that repeated story to infiltrate, take over, dominate my life, until I began to like review that story, come into my own self-love and self-care and find my own presence, and that allowed me to like not be gaslighted anymore, uh, not actually not be dismissed anymore because I wasn't getting anything you know, positive benefit from doing it. But there was a lot of negative benefit, negative benefit, negative happening, negative energy, whatever from participating there. So I love what you're saying like. Now I'm seeing it from a whole different perspective and it shows, you know, that was happening, but from a place of like a lie, and now I live more of that truth and that is gold like, yeah, it's freeing.

Deborah:

and the other thing that that came to mind for me is you know you mentioned that you were living someone else's story. Yep, you know, when you live someone else's story, you'll never get it right. Yeah, you'll never feel comfortable in that story. You will never feel supported or nurtured in that story. The only time when you can live fully with your self-love and your self-care is when you identify what is your story to live, what is yours to do, and allow that to inform you of what your next step is. Even your next little baby step is.

Deborah:

When I am operating from what is true for me, then that next baby step is probably going to be closer to getting me to what my deepest goals and desires are.

Debbie:

Right. I like to look at it like an emotional GPS, right, so we know what a GPS does. Right, we put in the end result when do we want to go? The emotional GPS is where do I want to go? Well, if I want to go to self-love, freedom, self-care, whatever, whatever the respect, whatever the thing is, wherever I want to go, and I might have 30 different GPSs, it doesn't matter. It is what happened or what's happening. Is it moving me closer to where I want to go? Is it moving me closer to my destination? And I love what you said even baby steps, because no path is straight.

Deborah:

Right, right no path is straight.

Debbie:

I love an image where it's like point A, point B, there's a straight line. But quote, unquote what it really looks like and just think of scribble, scratch everywhere and eventually you get from point A to point B. Because if you think about if you're on the West Coast and you're going to the East Coast, the interstate isn't straight, even though it's considered a straight line if you will. But you also are going to get detours. You got to stop to go to the bathroom, you got to get food, you might have to spend the night. There's always going to be these other things going on and all those things help you find other stories, like everything, like there's so many stories and telling our stories is so important. It's so um, self-honoring right right, and you know.

Deborah:

Well, just like it's not like we've got to be vulnerable to anybody, we don't want to be vulnerable to right, share the stories in a way that for the audience we're, you know, speaking to right and one of the things that I you know, that your GPS story that you told you know where you put the end in mind and the other thing is where you are in your story right so you are starting off.

Deborah:

It says, says okay, the one line is where are you starting from? And you're starting off from your story, and then GPS tells you how to get there, right.

Debbie:

Yes.

Deborah:

If you're starting off with somebody else's story, which could be 150 miles off from where you are, gps is going to give you a route that maybe not be the direct route or maybe not even eventually get you where you want to go, because that starting point is completely different. So I mean, I just love that analogy because it worked out both ways you got to know where you're going and you got to know where you're starting from to have a really, really good and I'll go back to my hippie days to have a good trip man.

Debbie:

Exactly so. Um, I don't know. Um, I guess I want to invite our listeners to think about something in well. Think of listeners thinking about something in your life. Think about something in well. Think of listeners thinking about something in your life. Think about something that's occurred that you learned from. What is it that you might share that might help other people?

Debbie:

Our stories are not weaknesses, right, right, and if it's feeling like a weakness, then you, you, you want to share it with someone who will respect that. That if you're feeling less than, for some reason, maybe you're feeling shame, guilt, put down, rejected, anything like that Be careful and share it with someone who's going to be there and receive you for where you are, but learn from it. How can you move forward with it? Our stories are wisdom. Our stories are wisdom. I think, every single time women speak their truth from their heart, we all heal. And the story you told or heal a little bit more, the story you told about being at was it Oprah's yeah, live your Best Life Tour. Live your Best Life Tour. And all these different women telling stories like, like, I think I need to go to something like that, like I think that would be so powerful.

Deborah:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah so so I want to before we I know it's time for us to go, but before we um leave, I want to answer the question that you're asking, or that we're asking our listeners to consider what's the truth from your stories, your life, that you would share with other women. So I want to answer that question myself.

Debbie:

Go ahead, yes indeed.

Deborah:

The big one that I got is you are the captain of your own ship. You get to choose, you get to choose. You get to choose what your life looks like. You get to choose who your life is lived with. You get to choose, you get to choose. So that's what I would share, and I would want to share with anybody and everybody, because we live so much of our lives sometimes, you know, letting other people captain our ship and it's not necessarily what is in our best and highest good.

Debbie:

Yeah, exactly, because nobody really knows what our best and highest good is but us. But they can live side by side. A lot of times, interestingly, what I would share to help other women is almost like well, let me say it and then we'll put them together. Mine was more like don't let other people choose for you. Like I had situations where if I wasn't doing, or somebody said that's not how you do it, or I, I do it differently, I'd be like really upset, thinking I did something wrong.

Debbie:

And I was living my life in a way that made them right but me wrong, Until I guess I became aware of it through enough life living and other people's stories where it was. Why am I worried so much about what this random person says? And I didn't even know the person, but I was trying to like, wanted them to approve of me or like me or whatever. It was crazy. So in in a way even though I'm saying it completely different I was letting someone else be the captain of my ship, Right, and I didn't even realize at all that that's what was happening. So from my perspective, it would be like don't let other people choose for you. You've got to be true to yourself, but you're saying be the captain of your own ship. And that's kind of the same thing, isn't it? Yeah, You're not letting other people choose, you're choosing. You're the one right side where your vehicle is gonna go exactly, exactly.

Deborah:

and then you come then now from a place of presence, power, self-care, self-love, and because of that then you're more able and willing to share those things with other people.

Debbie:

So the encouragement is look deeper into your stories. They hold lots and lots of wisdom.

Deborah:

Absolutely so. I am so excited that we were able to share this time with you and, you know, think about it, be the captain of your own ship and, as always, we invite you to love and care for the Shero and you. Bye.

Debbie:

Thank you Bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Debbie Pearson

Host
Head Shot

Deborah Edwards

Host