Shero Cafe Podcast

045 - From Outrage In Minnesota To Everyday Courage

• Deborah Edwards and Debbie Pearson

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0:00 | 34:27

Talk to us, Shero! Talk to us!

Headlines can shake you, but they don’t have to control your energy. We look at the Minnesota killings linked to ICE with honest clarity—naming the shock, dispelling misinformation, and asking why some deaths spark outrage while others are ignored. Then we explore how to reclaim agency: noticing your body’s reactions, choosing love over fear, and practicing small acts that keep connection alive.

You’ll hear how to use simple tools to calm your nervous system so grief doesn’t harden into bitterness. We talk about doomscrolling’s cost, the gap between awareness and reactivity, and how your energy quietly shapes every space you enter. Real stories—kind moments in everyday life—bring it home.

This isn’t about bypassing pain; it’s about metabolizing it. Love isn’t just a feeling but a trainable energy that supports clearer thinking, better choices, and resistance to fear’s divide-and-conquer pull. You’ll get prompts to check in with your body, notice the energy you’re carrying, and decide how you want to show up today.

If this feels true to you, share it with someone who needs steadier breath, subscribe for grounded conversations, and leave one small act you’ll try this week that might remind someone else they’re not alone.

Thank you so much for the likes, love, and comments you leave. Not only does it mean the world to us, it helps other women who need to hear it be able to find it.

#womenempoweringwomen
#youmatter
#makeadifference


---CONNECT with Shero Cafe---
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---CONNECT with Deborah Edwards---
Let's Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.edwards.372
Self Care Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/624202641785785
Website: https://gratefulom.life/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahedwards-selfcarecoach/

---CONNECT with Debbie Pearson---
Website: https://www.debbiepearson.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbiepearsoncoach/
Email: deb@debbiepearson.com

SPEAKER_01:

So Deborah, I am like so upset about what's happened in Minnesota.

SPEAKER_00:

You're not the only one. I am there. I am absolutely there. Um, you know, I totally get it. It's like when we you know, it's one of the things that I have to understand is, or what I've come to understand, is just how the you know things like that just are a shock to my humanity, a shock to my sense of justice and right and wrong, and and the loving being that I, you know, want to be in the world every day when I'm, you know, walking around and these things happen, and I find that it's hard for me to stay connected to the loving being that I am. I feel I feel anger, I feel uh, you know, some fear. This could happen to any of us now. I feel um like pissed off that it happened had to happen be with a white female and a white male before everybody is up in arms. This has been happening to people of color, women, yeah. For how long and now the outrage?

SPEAKER_01:

Let's make sure, and I'm sure that the audience knows what we're talking about, but we're talking about the two deaths in Minnesota from the ICE officers, which I I've I I don't even want to call them officers because officers have training. These these people have I I don't even know what their their possible training could have been because every every uh aspect of what uh the way they handled the situation is inappropriate and incorrect. Um there's there's just so many aspects, and I don't want to go into like all the details of what I saw. Um but but being trained myself in certain things, I was in the military, I'm not an officer or a police officer. But it's like there's certain things that are the right way to handle things, and then there are certain things that are just what the hell are you doing? Right. So we're talking about the two deaths, that's uh Renee Good and Alex Pretti. And as you just alluded to or said, why does it have to take two white people getting murdered for people to all of a sudden be up in arms? Because I'm watching people get removed from their society. I saw an old man, what was he like, in his eighties, uh rem in the snow with boxer shorts and a robe across his shoulders, like that's enough. And these uh you know, ice idiots is what I call them, is like they they're all geared up, so they're nice and toasty, but here's this elderly man, and they're gonna haul him out for what? I thought they were going to be going after criminals. Tell me the crime. Tell me the crime. Like I I'm just the pain for me is the corruption. That there are things that are done that are illegal, for example, the I guess we'll stick with the the two killings for the moment. And then supposed uh respected officials like Christy Nohm and Vovino, which I don't respect them at all. But supposed information that comes out that we're supposed to believe, which is a complete fabrication from what the video shows. And by spewing these words, like I don't know, I don't know who wrote it, if Stephen Miller wrote it or what, but it was sent to Bovino and to Gnome. They read the script verbatim. And I don't know if you heard or any um YouTube video or whatever, but it's like they're both reading it pretty much like at the same time, so you can hear they're both saying the exact same words. It was like here's a script, read it, here's a script, read it, and they're reading the exact same script. It's kind of like Michelle Obama's speech she wrote, and then Melania repeated.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, yes, I remember that.

SPEAKER_01:

Melania changed like a word or two. I don't know, maybe she just didn't know how to say what Michelle had said. They Noam and Bavino changed zero words.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Exact same. And it's like, wow. This there's this is a cover-up. It's it's so blatant and obvious to me that I don't understand how other people don't see or can't uh wrap their head around what the truth is. Because if you watch the video of what actually happened and there's three different um directions, people were standing in three what are they points of view, I guess you could say. Yeah, you know, and watching this video. The man did nothing wrong. The man did nothing wrong. And so there's a fear that shows up. Like, if they can just do this, I mean, to white people, they can, you know, now they're coming like now white people are getting afraid. And now you're like, whoa, whoa, this has gone too far, right? Well, because when it was a minority, a person of color, or or whatever. Oh, well, you know, we don't want to get involved, we don't want to get too mouthy, you know, we want to just uh, you know, I know, like and I have a friend that that said, you know what, if it's not happening in my backyard, then I don't have anything to say about it.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, guess what?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, you do.

SPEAKER_00:

It's in your backyard right now, you know. I don't know. And and the thing that um, and I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'm sorry. I just I just I'm just thinking about that, but the thing that really um is an assault to my um to my being is the absolute cruelty against humanity. It seems like there's cruelty for cruelty's sakes, and this is not who we are as people. I know this. Love is there's more love in this world, there's more people who are about love in the United States than what we're seeing in the news every day, all day. And um, and what's uh upsetting me is the ripple that that cruelty is throwing throughout our nation.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, I did hear something that gave me some hope. And um there was somebody complaining, you know, in a comment about, you know, why why won't we stop it or whatever? Like, oh my god, this is you know the fear and everything. And a European, a German man, responded with, America, you're doing great. It took Germany decades. It's only you're only a couple years in. So we need to feel the hope and the personal power that comes from that. And look at the personal power that Minnesotans gathering together.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh, you know, walking the streets, what are we calling it? What do we call these protests?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

They're banding together and they talk about our neighbors. You know, whether that's uh a Tim Walt's term, because he's one of the first people I heard say it over and over and over again. Right. I love that. The world is our neighbor. And you know, I I don't understand Well, I'm I feel like I'm getting ready to go off on a tangent. Let's stick with what we're talking about. These are our neighbors even though they're far away, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's how about if we talk a little bit about what happens inside of us as individuals as a tragedy happens? Because I I can feel my blood pressure rise, I can feel myself be angry, I can feel a sense of victimization and a sense of helplessness. And yet, I know all of those are fear-based energies.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

And I don't want them to win.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

So what can I do as an individual? And I think that's kind of what our episode is about. What do I do as an individual to find a place where love can thrive or grow or emit a place where I can recognize that maybe I can't go to Minnesota. Maybe I can't change an event or a circumstance or another human being. But I can have choice and power over what's happening inside of me and how I want that to come out into the world. So I think that it's natural for us to um feel helpless, powerless. Um jump in at any time, right? Um you know, help me out with it. It's like it's it's it's hard to to be in a place because you know, some people say you're so lucky because you live in the United States, you don't ever have to deal with this. And it's like that's true. That those are true statements, and we are having to deal with it. But what I've seen overseas, and I am not blaming the people, I'm just I'm blaming governments and greedy, greedy, and I hate to say it, but I I don't hate to say what I feel is true. There it's men, certain men, certain types of men that have created all these wars, that have created all this destruction, all this chaos, all this corruption. And we have to have human beings, not just men, men and women, who are willing to have that personal power, that strength inside, that is the choice of love, right? Love is the choice. So do you want to speak to that a little?

SPEAKER_00:

I guess what I'm what I'm feeling is um, you know, really it's very clear that, you know, me here in Greenville, South Carolina are not gonna have any effect on what's going on in Minneapolis, you know, me being um, you know, um vigilant, me being like over, you know, aware and reading every news story and every watching every uh news story, looking at all of these posts, that's not gonna help anything. It's just going to make me be more uncomfortable, more stressed out, more more fearful, even. And I think that it just brings it to myself. It brings to me the importance of connecting to our energy, our inner power, doing what we can inside ourselves to change what the world looks like outside of our immediate um world, right? So if we walk around in fear, guess what we carry to the grocery store? We carry that fear-based um attitude with us. And if we're walking around in love, guess what we carry with us? That's what leads when we walk into a room is that love. And guess what? Whether you're walking in with fear or you're walking in with love, that ripples throughout wherever you land.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you had said to me something like the way you show up on the inside is what you bring to the world on the outside. Like even if we don't, we're not walking around like clutching our purse, like you know, like we're you know, in this uh hyper-vigilant mode of looking all around, there is an energy field that's invisible that people can sense, and they can just sense it.

SPEAKER_00:

One of the things that I mentioned to you today is, and and we had this conversation about um about um me going to Trader Joe's today and and shopping and standing in line. And one thing that I've noticed is that a lot of people are contracting, they're not reaching out to other people, they're not talking, they're creating this little bubble around them. Well, I talk to the baby, I talk to the white woman behind me, I talk to the black woman behind me, and all I did was, hey, how you doing? You know, that is the ripple that went out, you know, and when I'm feeling that fear, that constriction, or that that anxiety within me, I don't speak to anybody. I'm compact. I'm you know, I'm just holding on and making it small and and all of that. So one of the things, Debbie, that you and I know um, as a self-love, self-care coach, and just from the training that we've had, is that we can do things to allow us to hold on to that place of love.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Right?

SPEAKER_01:

And so um because because it's a skill and because we've practiced it, right? We've we've done some work that allows us to do that. We were I I wasn't born knowing how to do it, were you?

SPEAKER_00:

No, were you okay? So I mean, I was born jumping into the place of fear. I was raised jumping into the place of fear and and being hyper-vigilant and you know, and just you know, don't talk to that stranger, don't, you know, blah blah blah blah. Uh don't talk to that white man over there because he may call you, you know. A bad name or something, you know, whatever, you know?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

No, not at all. But I, as you have, have decided no matter what happened in our past, no matter what we learned, whatever we brought through, we wanted to start with something different that's more aligned with love.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, and and you know, just to bring it back a little bit to what happened in uh Minnesota, it's to talk about how things that happen, like a tragedy, we have to look at it as a whole collective thing and not an isolated situation over there. Because it didn't just uh happen to them. It's it literally I'm gonna use the past tense, it happened to us, to all of us. And this isn't about saying it it happened to all of us, so let's all be afraid. Like because if it happened to them, it could happen to you. Well, that's a very fearful sentence, and I get it, I get that sentiment. But I'm asking that we do more on the inside of ourselves because that did happen to us. But now's not the time for us to retreat, and it's not the time for what you said you saw in Trader Joe's, that that um restrictive energy. I'm not saying that you can go out and pretend like, oh, I'm I'm just love, that's just all I am, because that's uh unreasonable. But to in this moment look inside and take that moment to say how am I feeling? How would I rather feel? What is going on inside of me and what would I rather be emitting out into the world? Just like you guys did when you went to the store. Like I love that you did that because I actually had something similar like that happen to me at Trader Joe's of all places. And I don't it was like two people just shopping, and we both ended up in the same spice area. And somehow one of us asked the other, either how you doing, or are you okay or whatever? And I felt like, whoa, well, you see what's happening in the world, like I was frustrated. And this person responded with such love and such hope. And not false or fake, not pretending, but I was like, thank you. Thank you for reminding me like that it's okay to be in a positive energy, to um share love, to um like you did, talk to people, that I don't have to hide myself in fear, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01:

So yeah, it's um we have some work to do, but it's beautiful work.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

I love I'm not saying it's easy. It's simple, but it's not easy. And so let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, one of the things that one of the things that um, and I think that what am I thinking? Also, okay, so when we're talking about these things, you know, that sense of powerlessness that you feel when you hear about things like what happened in Minnesota, when you hear about things that happened in your own town, you know, there's that sense of powerlessness. And what connecting to love does is it allows you to that love changes how suffering moves through you. Yes, right, yes, it doesn't, it doesn't stick, it doesn't stay, it doesn't change you because that love is bigger than anything that can happen outside of you, and it also maybe even gives you the courage uh to do something.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, you know, we we are suffering. And we we're getting to choose we can suffer with more suffering, or we can use this love to change, like you said, change how the suffering moves through you. Um yeah, I missed the last part of what you said because I was really deep into that sent statement that you had made.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, we're talking about that love is a power source. Right? Right. Like there aren't some people that can just love and others cannot. Love is the power we were born with, and it got smashed down along the way. This is about finding it again, bringing it back out, and if you've are connected to it already, to re-emit it. Because we need we need this because like I said, we can't let them win. The winning for them is that they do break us, they do divide us, they do separate us, they do make us feel as if they somehow have the power and we do not. And we are saying bullshit. Shit. We have a greater power, right? And I'm not just talking about the greater power, but I mean we as the individual have a greater power than they do. There's all about fear and separation. Love is always greater. Who was it that said like you can't fight fear with fear? You've got to fight fear with love. I'm all about it. I'm all about it.

SPEAKER_00:

Um and and I I I guess you and I have uh very strong feelings about this. And I think that there are maybe some. Um I guess when we started this episode, I think we intended to give some practices or some tactics that would allow you to connect with that love. And and while we just went down the rabbit hole of, you know, of what would, you know, because we are very passionate about this. I am very passionate about love, humanity, and all of that. So, Debbie, why don't we um talk about some of the reflective questions that that we were wanting to bring, you know, out as part of this episode? Um, we have a couple here, and that we'll just go through them and you know, and I invite the audience to answer them for yourself. So Deb and I will uh answer them and and just kind of feel into it and see what works for you. So you want to start with the first one?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I was thinking maybe we'll wait like 15 seconds or so. Um, when people are listening, they can pause um if they want, but um like don't answer what how do you feel about it that we don't answer immediately. We take our time.

SPEAKER_00:

I uh that's cool because I have let's just let's just all of us read the question and then all of us take a few minutes to think about it, okay, and not a few minutes, we don't have a few minutes, but um take some time to think about it, and then we can either answer the questions for ourselves or or leave it there. How do you think? You know, it's just it's just answer it. We'll see. Okay, okay, so I will read the first one. So what uh when you notice what's happening in the world, where do you feel it in your body?

SPEAKER_01:

You know, that's actually something I need to think about. It's like I think my heart hurts, but it's like my whole chest hurts. It's like my heart hurts emotionally, but physically I get tense. It's like my body braces. Like it actually reminds me that like something bad's gonna happen, and you like like hold on, like, oh my god, what's gonna happen? Um I think the slogan is waiting for the other shoe to drop kind of thing. And it's like having that uh sensation in my body that lets me know that there's something that I need to process, release, some in it's uh it for me it's information now. Um but for a very long time I would just be on like a hyper alert. And that hyper alert would show up as a physical tightness, like in my chest, my jaw would clench. It was like I was ready for a fight, but I didn't know what I was fighting.

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-hmm.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, for me, it it also happens in my chest and in my heart, and also I you know the beasting feeling? I get that at my throat, that kind of I I don't know how to explain it, but it's like the beasting feeling, and it it just feels like, and and the reason why I think I get it, well, the heart is obvious, right? Because my heart is breaking. A broken heart is a real thing. My heart is breaking, and I am grieving for what I thought humanity was. Anything that you know doesn't align with love or whatever, it just breaks my heart, and I feel it physically. And I think that the beast in my neck and throat, in my throat chakra, are because the powerless that I feel. I cannot speak the words, I cannot bring my voice to the situation. There's nothing that I can say in this moment that's going to make this better.

SPEAKER_01:

I keep I keep picturing myself like like like this very large energy going, you're stopping that right now. Like you're like, no, that's just no, like you're punished, you know, like go to your room, whatever. Because I I ask this question to myself all the time. Why can't anybody stop this man? I mean, I kind of know the answer. I know it's got to do with it's not just him. There's a whole dark money energy thing that it's not just him, because he's a nothing. He's that they call it the paper tiger, right? He he's it's not him, it's that he's he's willing to allow people to hate him and all this other stuff, and then demand from people. So, you know, but there's a whole lot that's backing him, and that's worldwide. That's the unfortunate part that it's worldwide, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh so the next question.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

You want me to do it?

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. What energy do you notice yourself carrying most often right now?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I will have to say, for me, I am intentionally carrying the energy of love. I started off this week saying, you know what? I am feeling a little bit heavy right now. I am gonna play my butt off this week. So I am intentionally being silly. I am intentionally talking to everybody in Trader Joe's. So that is the energy I'm carrying right now because I am rejecting that energy of fear, that energy of hate. So that's where I am.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. I did something and I'm in the middle of it. Um, well, let's just say I've gathered my supplies. I bought it, it was just a jar, and it had all these hearts in the jar, and they're just white, like white wood that's already been painted white. Okay, or it's wood that has been painted white. And I want to write on both sides of these something like feel your power, and then on the other side, yes you.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

And then uh maybe you're awesome, yes, you and I want to leave them just random places because the energy, because I just feel like that's hopeful. Like I've gone into like a bathroom and somebody left a note that said, You're beautiful, and it was a time when I felt crappy. And it was like, oh, like they weren't leaving it for me, but I'm the lucky recipient of that energy. And I was like, it made me feel something. It made me feel something, and that's what I want to do. I want to help people feel something to get outside of their head, right? Get out of the well, actually, it's the body that's creating all of this, but it's like it's that some other something that reminds them. Reminds them of um a a time when they were more connected to themselves. So the energy that I notice myself carrying most right now is like you, I have the moments where for me it's like a sadness. It's just just a sadness. And then it's then I go, wait a minute, I don't want to feel sad. I want to help other people not feel sad too. What can I do? And this is something I can do. I'm a doer. I'm a very like I'm not like gonna talk a lot to people, but I want to do things. And I just that's just I'm a task-oriented person. So I'm not doing that, but I just I feel excited to go just uh put it somewhere in a grocery store, leave it on a the the bathroom stall somewhere, not the stall, but in the sink or whatever somewhere, yeah to my waiter or waitress when I leave the tip, you know. Like I can just feel myself smiling that it's like that's exciting to me. It may not be exciting to other people, and nobody has to do that. But I don't know, that's what came up for me when you asked that question. So, final question. If love were available to you in this moment, what would it change inside you first?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I can't answer that question because love is available to me in this moment, so I would not change a thing. I um, you know, the the thing that um I would not. Um, but you know, with this love being available to me in this moment, my first thing that I want to do, much like what you were just talking about with the last question, is just spread the love. You know? Uh when it's when when love is available, I can feel regulated. I can feel, you know, okay. I can feel feel like okay, I'm good, you know, peace out. But when the love isn't available to me, then I don't feel regulated. I feel the fear. So when I I guess what this question tells me is that I want to do whatever I can to keep the love going, you know, to stay on the love train. You know, what about you?

SPEAKER_01:

I think that I'm not gonna answer the question. I think that I'm kind of so similar to you, um, because we've we've done a lot of work on ourselves, we've spent the time, we've practiced, and hopefully other people listening have practiced too. But I'd like to hear from those people. Like, where were you when you realized that love was available to you in the moment? And what did it change? So that would be a great um comment to leave for us, and we answer every comment, so we would love to hear from you.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

So, what do we want to leave them with, Deborah?

SPEAKER_00:

So, what we want to leave them with is just the understanding that, you know, even with all of this going on, and it doesn't matter what side you're on, it doesn't matter what you know, what your thoughts are about this, you are not powerless. And you are not meant to carry everything. The energy that hold that you hold inside of you matters, and it's huge, it's not just small, it is huge because it shapes how life moves through you and outward from you, and and and and it and it leads, it really shapes your life. I don't know, right?

SPEAKER_01:

It does, you know, it and and when a person chooses love, it's like we can't change other people, we can't fix the world, but what we can do is uh decide how we are going to be. And the beauty of choosing love is it does reduce your own suffering. That doesn't mean you forget other people, but you don't have to you can't suffer enough for another person to suffer less. So wow. Yeah. So choosing love helps the individual suffer less. So that in and of itself is a beautiful thing. But it also helps you study your body, you can think better, you can think more clearly, all the time, you have more choices. I mean, this is real power. This is the real power having the ability to depend on not outside validation, but you recognize how important that you, the individual, really are. So if love feels difficult, hard, um, if you need support, um, you don't have to do this alone.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So, you know, Deb and I, you know, no, you don't have to do this alone. Deb and I are here to help support you through that and to help guide you in that. And we're gonna just say before we leave you today, you know, let love be practical today, not dramatic, not perfect, just real, just even thinking about that creates the energy within you. One next step, one act, one breath. And you know, I'm always talking about baby steps. One choice to stay human, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, and that's all it is one little moment at a time.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, just one little moment at a time. So we're gonna say goodbye now, and as always, we invite you to love and care for the Shiro and you, bye everybody, bye.

Head Shot

Debbie Pearson

Host
Head Shot

Deborah Edwards

Host