Shero Cafe Podcast

053 - Taking Back Your Power

• Deborah Edwards and Debbie Pearson

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Glamour can feel like safety—until it isn’t. Using the movie Blink Twice as our lens, we explore how charm, access, and curated beauty can quietly become control. We unpack grooming, normalization, and the intoxicating pull of proximity to power—and why belonging so often outranks intuition.

We share personal stories of staying silent to keep harmony and of challenging authority at a cost. Like the film’s paradise, systems ask for small surrenders until your voice fades. We talk about gaslighting, self-doubt, and the fear of exile that keeps us nodding along—then pivot to rebuilding self-trust through mindful pauses, body-based yes/no checks, and boundaries practiced before they’re needed.

Taking your power back isn’t aggression—it’s clarity. It might mean leaving a room, declining an invitation, or choosing spaces that can hold your truth. If you're will, we'd love to hear how have you experienced taking your power back?

Thank you so much for the likes, love, and comments you leave. Not only does it mean the world to us, it helps other women who need to hear it be able to find it.

#womenempoweringwomen
#youmatter
#makeadifference


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---CONNECT with Deborah Edwards---
Let's Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.edwards.372
Self Care Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/624202641785785
Website: https://gratefulom.life/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahedwards-selfcarecoach/

---CONNECT with Debbie Pearson---
Website: https://www.debbiepearson.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbiepearsoncoach/
Email: deb@debbiepearson.com

Deb:

Well, today we're going to be doing something a little bit different, listeners. We hope you enjoy this as much as we've enjoyed putting this together. We're going to be tying in this episode to um the through line of the movie called Blink Twice. And uh just a minute or two of background. Blink Twice was the directorial debut from Zoe Kravitz. It's a psychological thriller starring Naomi Aki, which she did a fabulous job, and Channing Tatum. He did a really great job too, imitating this one particular person, and that was impressive, I thought. Um it looks like the the movie indicates like paradise on the surface, but it really asks us a deeper question. And that question is: what happens when you realize that it's time to take your power back? And that's what our episode is going to be about. Deborah, what did you think?

Deborah:

I thought it was super powerful. I, you know, first of all, I thought it was really um really uh timely and topical with what's going on right now with the Epstein files and all of that. And um, so that that part of it was interesting, and it was really interesting. It had me hooked from the very beginning because I'm like, what's going on, or what's gonna happen next? And then it started going more and more and more, and I'm like, oh, so I thought it was a really good movie and to illustrate how power and um you know and luxury and and money and all of that stuff, yeah um, you know, comes together to take away women's power, our power, yeah. Um to really, and the movie kind of illuminated that for me.

Deb:

Yeah, yeah, it was it was subtle and you were you you could see it because you're you're on the outside looking in, but you couldn't quite necessarily identify all the the through lines. Um you talked about power and money and all of this, and it's like, how the how does a devious person who has the means, like this island? So, so I guess we'll give a little bit of backstory. Um, it's kind of like every dream, every girl's dream, if you will. Um, pretty woman turned bad. It's like there's a what she's like a waitress or something or cocktail waitress, yeah. Okay, a waitress, cocktail waitress at a like a on on the mainland um for for these big parties. And it turns out that one of the parties, there's this very rich man, everybody knows who he is, um, but he's not known as a bad person per se. But she's like really attracted to him, and he does a tiny little bit of flirting with her, but he keeps coming over to her and she's just thrilled about it. And then um I guess like most women women would be, he's a good-looking man, he's successful, you know. Like I said, a pretty woman gone wrong. Um, but she I guess allows him. I don't I don't know the right words. Um, she's seduced by his charm, and she agrees to go with him, but he does it in such a slick way. Don't did you think so?

Deborah:

It was yeah, you know what it reminded me of, and maybe because um this is a a topic that it reminded me of how predators groom their victims. Yes, you know, they start small, like he came in and then he just went away, and he was just little by little just like reeling her in.

Deb:

But he was never he was never overtly reaching out for her, just a very soft, subtle, I'm right here and you're right there, having her wanting to lean into him, right?

Deborah:

I'm gonna take care of you, I'm gonna, you know, give you access.

Deb:

Yes, thanks. Yes, access to me because I'm liking how you are. She he wasn't overtly sexual, he wasn't overtly complimentary. He didn't, I don't think he even said, You're beautiful, or just anything about her, just subtle desire to be near her. Right. And but then other people were saying, Hey, you know, you've got to come, I don't know, take pictures or answer this question or whatever. So he would leave. And I don't even know that. Do you remember? Did he say, Don't go anywhere, I'll be back, or anything? It was like he just, all right, I gotta go, and he left, but then soon he came back, you know, and so there was just this excitement, like, oh, he's back, right? And I I guess you could say she got seduced without being seduced, right?

Deborah:

Right. I mean, it was it was uh it was expert, it was expert, uh you know, it was just so um subtle and so effective and all of this. Yeah. So that was interesting.

Deb:

So one of the things that I looked at was like, well, how does how does this happen? And it's like we have uh I guess our culture conditions us to to think of people that are wealthy and have status and have lots of confidence, that that there's some safety there. I mean, we just assume this in some way, right? So if the person isn't overtly sexually aggressive or overtly rude or being a jerk, there's an assumption because this guy was charming in his own right, right? He was he was um, I don't know. Anyway, somehow she was overriding her senses in order to spend time with him.

Deborah:

And her friend. She had a friend that she was there with that was kind of saying, uh, what uh we but stop, whatever, you know, look, think about it. This is too weird or whatever. But I want to ask you when you said um, you know, there's a lot of times the people with power and uh money create a false sense of safety. What can you tell me more about what you meant by that?

Deb:

Yeah. Um, there's at least my thought process with that was we the poor, I'll call that me, the poor, because I'm not the rich, okay? There's a sense that wow, if I have money, you know, then somehow I have safety. And in in that regard, I I think of it that way because I was brought up like we weren't safe because we didn't, you know, there was food shortage concerns, there was um just we're on the margin of of not being able to pay for stuff, right? So if you're rich, you're it's safe. So that's actually financial safety, but sometimes when you see a rich person, they stand in, they're standing up, you know, tall, and it's like they're confident and there's they've got status, and we have a tendency to go, oh, look at that person. I don't mean we're swooning over everybody. We may look at somebody and go, they're a jerk because they're arrogant, right? But there's something about the stance or the confidence or something that comes with having a lot of money. And so that's what I was talking about. That that seeing that as I would be safe with that person, I don't know, because their money could protect me. I I don't really know. That's just that's what I was thinking of.

Deborah:

Okay, cool.

Deb:

Okay. Um, but to to to go to the movie and then come back to to the episode, it's like um the friend of what was Naomi's Frida. Wasn't her name? Frida is.

Deborah:

Yeah, her name was yeah, Frida.

Deb:

And she her friend's name was Jess. And and they Frida is like, oh come on, you know, look how sweet he is, or whatever. And eventually Jess gives in, and they go ahead and get on a plane to go to the rich man's island, ringing any bells, people. But and just to be clear, they are of age, right? But it was like Jess could feel her intuition saying, I don't know about that, but Frida kind of couldn't because she wanted something. There was something about this man she was so drawn to. Now, in the movie later, we find out why she's so drawn to him. But in at this moment in time, we don't, right? So, in a way, Frida was silencing her intuition in exchange for connecting with this rich and powerful man.

Deborah:

And another thing, Jess, right, who had the intuition, who had the feelings, just tamped that down in order to stay in relationship with Frida. Yep, yep. And so then she ended up being swept up into this whole situation, even though she knew and felt and didn't follow her intuition. And you know, I don't want to spoil it, but to her peril, right? To her ultimate peril. And if she had followed her intuition and not given in to that need for belonging, yeah, need for belonging, it would have been a better outcome for her in the long run.

Deb:

So to put it in like easier language, it was like, in a way, she gave her power away. Oh, absolutely. She just gave her power away, but sh that's not what she was feeling. She wasn't like, oh, all right, I'll give my power away. It was more like, oh, I don't know, it feels weird, but you know, it yeah, it does kind of sound like a good time or um, yeah, it'll be okay. It was like that need to belong overrode her gut intuition.

Deborah:

Yeah.

Deb:

So that's part of it.

Deborah:

FOMO, FOMO.

Deb:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So in this case, control did not start with force, it started with like a normalization. Oh, we fly over there all the time. Um, lots of people go there, and you know, there's more people getting on the planes, it's not just three, you know, it was like other women, other men, and they're all, I think so. I think that's how it went. I know that once they were on the island, there was like five males, five females for a while, anyway. Um, so it was, but it's like as the movie went on, there was what I guess we could call a gradual destabilizing, um, even though nobody originally understood why things were the way they were, but people were noticing like, why do we all have the same perfume? Why are we all getting these red bags? Why are we all have the same outfits, right? So this can mirror life in a lot of different ways, right?

Deborah:

Yeah, and I guess I'm not I'm not remembering it that much. It was you know, but um, but yeah, just uh at some point there's an awakening, you know, where you're like, wait, where am I? You know, and and I'm and I'll bring in a story that um that you and we had actually talked about earlier, you know. I was going to this church and it was, you know, a mega church. I was deeply involved in the church. And then I started noticing these things, like the pastor was giving like extravagant gifts to different women or different men, and you know, and then everybody's like, and he's saying all of these things that really didn't feel like it aligned with my core values. And you know, I was deep in the church at this point, right? And everybody in that church, if pastor said the sky is purple today, everybody's like, amen, right?

Deb:

Like purple it is, yeah, you know.

Deborah:

So to be part of that group, I gave up my autonomy. I believe I gave up my um what I understood to be the values, the um, you know, the teachings of the Bible and all of that stuff to belong. And when I finally woke up, it was like, wow. But, you know, and it took an event, much like it did here, it took an event, a very um pivotal event for me to wake up because otherwise I'm just dragged right along with everybody else. And I feel like that's what happened with these women and the drugs, the drugs that were involved, the drug, let's talk about the drug. What is the drug? The drug is your proximity to power, your belonging, you know, all of those things, you know, that um, you know, for you know, that you didn't feel like you were the cocktail waitress. Now you felt like you were the rich woman at the estate, you know. So that is a drug.

Deb:

Yeah. Yeah. It is, it is um, it is a drug, and I guess that's an emotional drug rather than a physical drug. Right. But it's like, yeah, how we can see ourselves from beneath and looking up, right? So we're the waiter, waitress, and we're looking at the ones we serve as being above because they're getting served, right? Right. Yes, and then we step in that position where other people are serving us. And um, yeah. Um something else, uh you you told a story about the pastor. I I also have a story, it's a little bit different than that, but it it always interested me. I guess I don't know if that's the right word, but it always maybe confused me. Uh, I was raised in the Catholic Church, although I never quite connected with it. Um, my mom was somebody that was just like the best Catholic little Catholic girl ever. And like you said, if the priest said it was purple, my by God, it was purple. And I I would always question why, why, why, and she would always get really mad at me. But it was like, how could so many priests get accused of sexual abusing sex sexually abusing children and their punishment was to be sent to another location where there were more children? I mean, I I just it just stunned me. Okay, maybe they went away for rehabilitation or whatever. I don't even know what was going on. They go to the next parish or whatever, and they do the same thing, but they don't get caught until they get caught. Right. And so there's this gaslighting that goes on, like oh, he's not a bad man, and there's all this you know something, but they want to convince you that's that that isn't the truth. Um, maybe maybe don't trust your own perception. Um we're more intense. Well, just the last thing is like we know better than you, right? So, but go ahead.

Deborah:

And from the time that you were a very, very small child, right? You were conditioned to comply. Yes, ask questions, be agreeable, don't make it awkward, don't step outside of the boundaries, don't question the powerful men, right? Yeah, yeah, and that was the same thing in my church, right? Just don't ruin the vibe. We got a good thing going here, you know, life is easy, blah blah blah blah. We're a part of the bigger structure, and then it just is in your mind from the time that you're a little girl to comply, not make waves.

Deb:

Yeah. So I wonder where our audience may have experienced that same type of thing. Yeah, yeah. If you're willing, share that with us if if it feels okay and comfortable to you.

Deborah:

Yeah.

Deb:

I you know, one of the things that I used to, I didn't ask myself this question this way. It was like the question that I want to ask the audience is who are you when you stop performing compliance? Right. And I know for a very long time it wasn't like I asked myself that question, but I always wondered, what why is it so hard to fit in? Why can't I like there's this whole group of family members, they all get along and they all invite each other everywhere and they're all in each other's business, they all know everything, and they seem to be this happy, cohesive group. And I always felt like I'm over here, you know, like just this outsider person. And uh, but I wanted to do whatever I could to fit in. So if I had to talk different, date a particular kind of guy, drive a particular kind of car, make a certain amount of money, like I was doing what I thought I needed to do, and I I now I would call it performing because I wasn't being myself, but it's like the the difference when I decided to. Well, I don't know that I decided it. It was probably more like I learned a lot more about who I actually am, what's important to me, my values, and my values when I started really noticing and realizing what those were, that became more important than trying to fit in. So I kind of quit be trying to be what I thought they wanted me to be, um, and started focusing more. Um I wouldn't have said taking my power back, but I that's what I actually was doing. I was focusing more on me, and um, that was a really some important moment because I can see where especially the men in my family are big gaslighters. Um I remember after I walked the Camino and I ended up in a family reunion or party or whatever it was, and my cousin, who's I don't know, three or four years older than me, she it was like she just very sadly said, um, I wish I could walk the do like what you did. And I was like, Well, you can. She goes, No, I I can't. I'm like, you're not too old. You know, like I said, she's just a couple years older than me. I was like, you just, you know, go to the gym and work out a little bit. Like you, you can do. She goes, No, you don't understand. I go, well, what do you mean? She goes, my husband would never let me go. And I remember just like, well, let you? Like, why does he have like that kind of whoa, that really threw me. Now, this is when I was a lot, like I said, you know, late 50s. So I felt much more confident in who I am. Uh, I didn't want to outsource my authority to anybody, you know, anymore. So yeah, it was um such a surprise. But I recognize she has that mentality that her husband rules the roost and she needs to get permission from him before she can do anything.

Deborah:

So if then the question, I mean, keeping that story in mind, one thing that comes in mind for me, for our audience, and and actually for me, this is something that I found myself doing. What is it that you fear from separating from the crowd, from the, you know, like you're separating from what your husband will not allow you to do? What is it? What is it, first of all, that it would take to get your power back, to to crawl back into your power? And then what is it that you fear that doesn't allow you to do that?

Deb:

Well, I think it's a really good question. And I'm gonna say that we actually name that because I I don't think people can that well, there may be people that have. They're on the other side and they're like, I know what it is. But I think there's a lot of people that maybe because I didn't, I didn't know why I did what I did. I wanted to belong. Like that was the bottom line. I did what I did because I wanted to belong. I didn't want to be ostracized. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to belong. So it was about being connected to what I called my family. And nobody wants to be separated from their family. Um, but sometimes we lose who we are, probably all the time, but we lose who we are when we give away our power. And there was nobody like standing over me saying, you're going to act this way. Nobody was doing that. I did that on my own, thinking it would help. I don't know why I thought it would help. I just, oh, I must, I must be doing it wrong, right? Maybe if I do it right, they'll accept me.

Deborah:

Um one of the things that I um in the movie when they did the um took the perfume, yes, uh, um, you know, that took their memory away. You know, I I think that there are some systems and some hierarchies within our society that is almost like that perfume that takes our memory away. And you were talking about some of the people in your family, especially the men, had uh a system of gaslighting where you get to the point where you're like, I can't trust. I thought white was white, and he's telling me white is black, and everybody else in my family is saying white is black, I can't trust what my perception is anyway, and that's where again you give up your power. Yeah. And so if you at some point, um however you're able to gather that capacity, and you know, and I teach my clients sometimes it's just little baby steps at a time to be able to connect with your inner wisdom, to connect with your inner power, to connect with your self-trust, to connect with your self-love. You know, that is the only way that we can combat that um that loss of memory or gaslighting by just trusting ourselves and trusting the way that we see the situation. If I say white is white and everything I know says white is white, to trust myself and to trust my knowledge and my uh capabilities so I can say I can trust what I can see, what I see, and as a part of that, then you can claim your voice.

Deb:

And I will say you must be willing to risk the possibility of having to stand alone sometimes.

Deborah:

Oh, yeah.

Deb:

Um the example for me was I remember um a very prominently it was a party, there was males and females all standing around, and a particular uncle said something that I vehemently disagreed with, and I challenged him. And the roar, the the the how dare you have the audacity to question me energy came out of him, and the rest of the party, everybody stood away from me because they couldn't have him mad at them, and I do remember the feeling was like ostraciz I felt ostracized, I felt like I didn't belong, I felt well ostracized is just a really good word, and it was painful, but I also felt that I said the right thing, that that what he was spewing was just garbage, and it was a lie, and it wasn't the truth, and right, so I'm saying prepare yourself, know that that's gonna happen, have great friends, have another support system because people may step away from you, your family members may step away from you, but I will go I will add, was it worth it? And I will say, hell yes, absolutely, well, yes, it was. So when we're talking about the movie, there is a point in the movie where Frida, main character, begins to start to wake up, right? That was one of my waking up moments, like, wait a minute, yeah. Why? He's wrong, like he sh it's wrong what he's doing. Okay, bitch, so for me it was more of like a really big moment, but it can also be little things, subtle things, a little of this, a little of that, sensing, noticing, realizing no, mm-mm. But it all of it comes from the inside, it's that inner voice that's going, there's just something off here. I may not know what it is, I may not know why I feel the way I do, but it's information, right?

Deborah:

And listen, listen, and listen, listen, you know, and there was a part in the movie that that was pivotal for me that I didn't quite understand. You know, the um there's a um, I don't know if she was a maid or, you know, she was always around. She was uh she looked like she was indigenous or something, and I don't know, but she's the one that made Frida drink the snake venom. So she is the one that gave her the snake venom in the very beginning that opened up, you know, her memory that opened up her. Okay, I know you cannot you're like, shut up, Demora.

Deb:

I want to say this. Okay, so say it. Well, what I want to let the the audience know is that was a good thing. You know, we don't go around giving people snake venom to drink, right? But in this case, the snake venom was the antidote to to Frida's problem. I mean, I don't want to give it away. I don't want to like it. But you can, it's hard because it is so well done. It is such a good movie. And because of the Epstein files and Epstein's Island and the stories we've heard, Deborah and I, we were talking earlier. I'm saying Deborah because I'm talking to the audience right now. Like Deborah and I were talking about how when we listen to the news or we hear something on a podcast, whatever, we're hearing bits and pieces and we're putting things together in our mind. But when we when I watched the movie, and then I'm gonna talk for you, Deborah, because it we agreed that when you watch the movie, it was like it was cohesive. We're like, oh, I'm seeing how it goes from A to you know to B to C to Z, right? And I'm seeing this in a more cohesive manner. And um, so to get back to the snake venom, the snake venom was the antidote to help this woman, Frida, main character, to see what was really going on.

Deborah:

Okay, so can I talk now? Can I are you done? Are you can you listen? Okay, so then when I'm talking about that, what I was thinking was that this woman, although she was in, you know, you I didn't understand anything she said, she was very uh kind of weird, you know, kind of kind of strange or whatever. But this is a woman that was helping her to um to bring awareness to what was going on, right? To open up her memory. So I invite the audience to even your cray cray cousin from whatever, you know, look at those people that you feel like and you just know are are trying to help you to be more powerful in what you're doing every day. They may not be handing you snake venom, but they're uh um someone that is an ally that's that's giving you an opportunity to question the status quo. They are giving you the opportunity to look at and have an awareness that will allow you to take your power back. This little woman in this show, that's what she did. She had, you know, if by you know standard, she didn't have a huge role in this film. No, but she had a huge role in this film.

Deb:

Yeah, yeah. Um she, yeah, it was it was a real interesting dynamic that this indigenous woman that didn't speak English hardly at all, um, like said something to the main character, like, you know, Red Rabbit, Red Rabbit, she was saying. And you have no idea what this means. Like, you just don't know until you get to the end of the film. And then later on, she said something else, she gave her the venom, she, you know, did all these. There were these little pieces parts that that woman's role was powerful. Yeah. And I can see what you mean. Like, sometimes we have that like the cray cray cousin, but maybe she's not cray cray. Maybe the family says she's cray cray. So we're saying she's cray cray, and yet she's speaking the truth more than what we're hearing amongst the people that we care about. And I'm not saying I'm not saying to estrange yourself from your family. Uh, you know, it's more like just really pay attention, really hear what's being said, because you know, when we grow up with certain words, certain phrases, certain biases, and we all we have biases that are natural, like I like a teddy bear over a Barbie doll or whatever. That it's innocuous. And then we are brought up in cultural biases, which are more detrimental. I don't think I need to name things. You get what I mean, like biases that are just detrimental. Um sometimes, no, I'm gonna say all the time, I'm gonna say all the time. It's good to pay attention to do I really believe that, or am I just going along with everybody else? Because that's just what I was taught. So I think it's good to just look at it. Doesn't mean you have to go against it, just I guess be aware whether or not that's how you truly feel, or that's how you've kind of been taught to feel.

Deborah:

Right. And and one of the things, like as a mindfulness coach or mindfulness, you know, someone that that is really um involved in those mindfulness track practices, sometimes the key and is to just give yourself the space to do that, to access your inner wisdom. I was going with the flow. I was, you know, singing on the praise team. I was doing all this stuff. I was going with the flow because it was easy and I co-opted my inner wisdom. I just went with the flow. I was an inner tube going downstream, I wasn't making waves, I was, you know, I was on the praise team. You were a girl, you were a good girl. All that stuff. And um sometimes until I stopped and thought about it, until I gave myself the space. You know, for me, every day, what I do in my everyday life is maybe through meditation, through quiet time, uh, sometimes journaling, just giving yourself the space to say, is this something that is truly aligned with my core values, my beliefs, what I want in my life, like your sister-in-law, sister, sister that says I can never go to the Camino, you don't understand.

Deb:

Cousin, yeah.

Deborah:

Cousin, yeah. I mean, understand what is your true value. And I will say for 25 or 30 years, I would not date. I would not date because I was afraid I would have to give up my power. You know, and then I really decided after COVID what I really wanted. So then what was mine to do after that is to say, okay, I really want to be in a relationship. I need to find a way that I can keep my own power. Yeah. No matter where I am, no matter who I'm with. Do I always get my way? No, but if I don't get my way, it's my decision that I don't get my way.

Deb:

Okay.

Deborah:

And I don't say it's somebody else's decision. So that's what I'm saying is just sometimes you need to stop and take the time and create space for you to make those because if you keep on going, keep on going, keep on going, keep on just following the path of least resistance, you don't ever question anything.

Deb:

Well, you said something about power. I was afraid that somebody would take my power away. And I would look at that, correct me if I'm wrong, that that's kind of like a fear-based thought.

Deborah:

Oh, absolutely.

Deb:

And so when we can shift into, I'm going to keep my power as a love-based thought because I love myself, because I am connected to myself, because I know what I want, I know who I am. That's when all that the awareness, the the that your world can begin to shift in such a positive way. Right. It's saying no instead of saying yes. When you mean to say no, say no. You know, don't say yes if you really want to say no. Because you you know what happens. It's uh resentment happens, right? Right. It's being somewhere. Oh, I gotta share this. Being this, it's leaving okay. I'll say the rest of them. So I I would it's leaving the room, it is um speaking out, naming what's happening, which I did with the uncle, um refusing to participate. So I had that same uncle bring another uncle, which was by uncle by marriage. I don't know why I feel like that's important, but it probably isn't. But anyway, they were there and the wife was there, right? And then it was my mom and me. And I I don't even know why this Mary, the uncle-in-law, I guess you could say, said something about watching porn and how porn is so wonderful. And I'm like, what did you just say? And he repeated it. I said, Do you realize that you're related to all the women in here? That is your sister-in-law, that is your other sister-in-law, and this is your niece. Like, why are you talking about this? And it was, you know, because I'm female and it was I was grumbled at, like, what is wrong with me? And I just need to shut up and let them do whatever they want, meaning men. And I looked at the uncle that brought him and I said, never bring him here again. And then I had to leave the room because I did not handle I like I went against every norm in that family, and I stood up against a M-A-L-E, which means I'm not allowed back, right? I'm I'm the the black sheep, I'm the ostracized one, uh in this fit. I'm the one, I'm the one. I know so so. For me, I I think I estranged myself, but it was more important for me. That was power for me. It was I was terrified. Don't get me wrong, I was terrified. But being that clear and that honest and not allowing that behavior in front of my in front, I mean, I don't know why nobody else said anything. You know, like they just I could see the shifting, the uncomfortable shifting. My mom was, you know, we were in her house, but she didn't feel she had the right to say, this is my house, and I don't allow that. Like, I I don't know, it was just crazy. Anyway, there's gonna be all kinds of possibilities that could come up, and you just wanna be prepared, like to be able to stand up for yourself or be able to stand up for somebody else because power is assertive, it's not aggressive, right?

Deborah:

You know, um and one of the things that I wanted to just mention too, you said that you estranged yourself from that family. I'm thinking, you know what? Just choose a different word, you freed yourself from that family. I mean, much like this movie, right? She came to that awareness, and she and it was difficult, it was a difficult journey after she became aware, it was not easy, right? And um, and she came to that awareness, but then after that, after she took her power back, she didn't it didn't matter that she estranged herself from these other people. What mattered is that she became free, very true. Yeah, that's one thing I'm looking at.

Deb:

It doesn't always feel free in the beginning, and I think I've used that word estranged because that felt more powerful to me, but I really appreciate you saying the word freedom because it that's actually way more how I feel now. I am free, I'm free from all that craziness, all I'm calling it craziness. Maybe it's not crazy for them. For me, never was comfortable, and it's like um trying to fit the round peg in the square hole kind of you know concept where it never works, it just never works. And so now I if I'm the the the square peg, I I just go around square holes instead of round holes because it just makes sense, it works, right? We we fit it together and it's comfortable and nobody's you know like forcing anything. It's just it's so much more free, freedom, perfect word. I love it. I will start saying I'm free, yeah, because I am it I I am, I absolutely am.

Deborah:

Now, one of the things, and you know, no, I think that I want to kind of end this episode with the ending of the movie. I was you know, I didn't, I you know, I I I had some very, very mixed feelings about the ending of this movie.

Deb:

And are you gonna are you gonna share the ending?

Deborah:

No, that's why because that's one of the things that I'm like struggling with is how do I um talk about the ending of the movie without talking about the ending of the movie? And so I guess what I'm saying is one of the things that happened is the main character, let's just say, took her power back. And what I what disturbed me about the end of the movie, and I'm not gonna give you the ending, what disturbed me about the end of the movie is how she used her power after she had it back. And so I not only advocate us connecting with our inner wisdom and and reclaiming our power, but I also um would say that we need to be very mindful and very um conscious of how we use our own personal power. Because if we regain our power and then we take that power to gaslight or uh knock down or to make somebody else feel bad, then that is not even in our best interest.

Deb:

True.

Deborah:

What I'm inviting people to do is take your power, take your power, and you've heard the phrase um use your power for good. I want you to use your power for good. What's good for you, what's good for your family, what's good for society, because that's how you know when one of us, you know, rises, right? We all rise. And so um that's that's kind of what I want to how I want to couch the end of the movie. I know you had a little bit of a different um, you know, feeling about it, but what you know, what did you think about the ending?

Deb:

Nothing. I um it's too I don't know that I can talk about it like you did. So I I don't know what to say. I I'll tell the audience if. If if you guys want to discuss the end of the movie after you've watched it, contact us. We'll all get on a Zoom call and we'll talk all about the movie. It's really a good movie. You know what I mean? It's like it's just, it was so well done. And it just put things into a perspective that I was able to wrap my head around. And it keeps, it's layered. I keep like, oh, like adding another layer once it's almost like I have to peel off one layer to get to the underneath layer and to recognize it, to peel it off, right? It's it's that kind of thing. So, but anyway, it's all about who has power, who has power over, how people dominate, um, what can we do for our own selves so as not to fall prey or trapped by someone else's power. Um yeah, how we have power over ourselves.

Deborah:

So, and one thing that I want to say, too, that doesn't have to do with anything in the theme of the movie, you know, anything, the artistry in this movie is just fabulous. I mean, some of the scenes and the and the the movement and the colors and all of that, which has nothing to do with this conversation, but when I'm thinking about that, I think about some of the scenes and how beautiful they were, even though they were even sometimes heinous scenes, they were just beautifully done.

Deb:

Well, I think that's it, right there. It's like the way that I guess Zoe was able to direct it and with those scenes, I think that I think it does have a lot to do with it. I think that the beauty, what what did we talk about earlier? Like being in proximity of power, the way she showed like the flowing green gardens, that that gives you this sense of safety. This is nature and beauty, and it's not false, but it gave a false sense of security, right? Right. So, um, yeah, I think it has a lot to do with the movie. I'm glad you brought it up because I didn't think about how that angle or this perspective, you know, like they can film in all different kinds of ways. I don't know anything about the film industry, but I know they'll take takes, right? They'll do a shot from this direction and one from this direction, and um, then they'll piece it all together. Um, but I think it really did have a lot to do with it and helped probably the emotion inside, the thinking, the the just help bring us into that movie even more.

Deborah:

Right, right, right. So um here we are at the episode episode. Yep. And I I guess I just want to say that, you know, we we need to, we, we, we are aware that sometimes power isn't taken. It's surrendered in small amounts, saying, like Debbie mentioned earlier, saying yes when you really mean no, and in small moments when we doubt what we know, bling twice reminds us that control thrives in that doubt. And the moment we truly trust ourselves, every single moment when we truly trust ourselves, its grip begins to loosen. So we'll leave you with one question where in your life is it time to trust your own knowing and take your power back? Because that is how you love and take care of the Shero You.

Deb:

Bye. Bye, everybody.

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Debbie Pearson

Host
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Deborah Edwards

Host